You know when you read a post about manifesting a partner and you think to yourself that all this law of attraction stuff is probably a load of new-age woo-woo?
Yep, I was totally there.
Related: 9 HABITS OF HIGH VIBE PEOPLE
I write about the Law of Attraction now and I practice manifesting things, people and life experiences each day, but a mere seven years ago, I would flinch at the mere mention of it.
I was a spiritual person but I just didn’t think it had any merit and that those who believed in it were so hopeful that they were borderline delusional.
If we could all create our perfect realities, why weren’t we all millionaires, living with our ideal partners in our ideal homes, in our ideal locations, living our best lives? It just didn’t make sense to me — at all.
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One evening, I was bored and restless and had nothing better to do than procrastinate on YouTube. I found a few videos explaining how the Law of Attraction worked and I spent some time looking into it a little further.
That triggered the beginning of my fascination with it. I began reading everything I could on the subject. I watched all the videos I could in my spare time and put what I learned into practice with small, insignificant manifestations like free cups of coffee.
Fast forward to today and I can create pretty much anything that I consciously and subconsciously believe I can create.
Many years ago, my previous relationships were pretty unhappy but since learning how the Law of Attraction works, I now manifest far more compatible and authentic people in my reality and below, I’ll show you how I did it and how you can do it too.
Let Go of the Past
Let go of any longing for any previous partners. Have a clean break.
If you feel you need some energy healing to help you with this, you might find Reiki healing, Spiritual Response Therapy, or EFT really helpful. We also have energetic cords to the people in our lives and gently unplugging those can bring much relief from any feelings of sadness or desire to reconnect.
If you share children with an ex-partner, contact can definitely be civil, even warm, yet formal and distant.
Always Focus on What You Want in a Partner
Don’t focus on what you don’t want in a partner, or worse still, what you can’t stand.
What we focus on, or give energy to, we tend to attract the most, so ironically, thinking about what you don’t want in a partner will manifest exactly those things.
Release negative thoughts and expectations about the man or woman who you’d like to attract such as unemployment, eating too much junk food, spending too much time playing video games, etc.
A friend of mine would constantly manifest partners who were unemployed and exceptionally reluctant to find work, whereas I’ve never experienced, or even dated (and I’ve been on a LOT of dates) an unemployed man. Maybe this is because I’m indifferent to the idea or it’s never even entered my mind as a possibility.
Heal Your Inner Self & Raise Your Vibration
Healing your subconscious mind is probably the most important thing you can do in order to attract someone who will be a good match for you and vice versa.
As we heal, our vibrations also rise.
Your new relationship is also more likely to work and last. High vibration people possess healthy amounts of many various positive qualities such as understanding, compassion, care, and respect for others and themselves.
Meditation can help with raising your vibration, as can crystals, but the fastest and most effective way by far is through energy healing work. There are so many different energy healing modalities which can help you with inner work and those include:
Yep, that’s right! Just have fun. Focus on doing the things that excite you in life and you find value in.
That’s definitely one of the things that life is for and that’s so easy to forget when you’re in the daily grind.
You probably know people who have been looking for a partner for years. They’ve been on and off dating sites, speed dating, meeting friends of friends and NOTHING has happened for them.
They may be holding large amounts of resistance in the form of wishing, hoping, needing or wanting a partner, and thus perpetuating and reiterating their story and vibration of not having a partner — so that’s what they keep on manifesting.
Having fun takes the resistance out of searching, hoping and wanting a partner. It helps to decrease resistance. When we’re immersed in doing stuff that we love, be it our full-time jobs or pastimes, we feel lighter, more fulfilled, purposeful and overall, happier. Our vibrations lift and the focus on NOT having a partner becomes drastically reduced.
Enjoying yourself and your life is fantastic. You get to actually enjoy your Earthly experience while it lasts AND release resistance to a partner finding you and you finding them.
You’re also more likely to attract new people into your life who are of a similar vibration and those connections could lead you to a fulfilling relationship.
Related: 9 HABITS OF HIGH VIBE PEOPLE
Build Faith in Your Manifesting Abilities
It can be really tricky to have complete, rock-solid faith in your manifesting abilities if your manifestations never seem to come to pass.
Learning any new skill requires time, practice — and failure now and again. It took me years to learn how to play the piano well and drive confidently! Try keeping a journal of the manifestations that worked out and the ones that didn’t (yet) to stay on top of your progress. Practice manifesting things that you feel indifferently towards and have no investment in at all.
Practice manifesting things like parking spaces or free cups of coffee. Go out and watch the magic take place!
Manifesting in this way is great because we don’t have any resistance to what we desire to create. The more small things we can manifest, the stronger our belief in our ability becomes. You should find that with time, your ability to manifest things, people and experiences increases and your confidence will too.
You can also set intentions. They’re extremely powerful and work well when building manifesting confidence. You can set the intention for someone
Let Go of Any Resistance
This is usually what people find hard to do. And I totally get it because it’s hard!
People can also subconsciously, or plain consciously depending on how intuitive they are, pick up on needy vibes and that just sadly isn’t attractive, as hard as it may seem to curb.
It seems cruel, too.
You really, really want or even need something to come into your life and you keep on trying to manifest it, and you look out for all the signs it’s on its way, but it never arrives…
In fact, everyone else seems to be finding their fairytale romances, traveling together, holding hands and having fun, and you’re only manifesting more needing, yearning, longing and wanting!
I honestly believe that it’s only once we let go of what we want that it is able to flow to us.
Since you’re the single creator of your reality so if you believe that you don’t have whatever it is you desire or that you won’t get it, you will create that in your personal reality.
To let go of resistance, it’s a great idea to make alternative plans that we find genuine peace with.
Ask yourself what will you do if you don’t find someone? It might be unthinkable to contemplate at the moment but give it a go, even if it’s just for a few minutes and see how you feel.
Facing our fears and dealing with them through healing and rationalizing how we would cope and do, if our desires don’t manifest, ironically makes it FAR more likely that our desires will manifest.
This is because we’re much more healed inside, we’ve raised our vibrations, and we’ve let go of resistance because we know that our backup plans will mean that we’ll likely be okay no matter what.
Become the Kind of Person Who You Want to Attract
You also need to change your personality if you want a different personal reality as Joe Dispenza says.
What makes up your personality? Your thoughts, behavioral patterers, intentions, conscious and subconscious beliefs.
Would you like to have a relationship with someone who is sincere, loyal, patient, considerate, respects themselves and others, and is financially successful?
Remember that we attract mirrors of ourselves so by embodying the qualities and characteristics you desire to have in a partner, you’re far more likely to attract someone who does have those things.
You know that friend who really wants someone caring, fun and light-hearted, understanding, yet they sadly aren’t there yet themselves quite there…
They might still attract someone who checks those boxes, BUT they might not stick around because of the vibrational incompatibility. They’re far more likely to stay together if they share the same qualities due to being vibrational matches for each other.
Place Your Order with the Universe
Finally, and most crucially, actually place your order with the Universe!
BUT, here’s the thing…
Don’t be too specific.
I know that a lot of law of attraction teachers say to make a list of all of the qualities that you’d like in a partner, but maybe this is limiting what the Universe is able to provide.
When it comes to manifesting anything, different people use different techniques. Some work for some people, others work for others. There are so many other manifesting techniques out there but this is the technique that worked for me and is probably the most common manifesting technique used today.
If you’re too specific, you may attract that smart, witty man or woman with brown hair, blue eyes, who is a surgeon living in the same town, but someone who fits all that criteria may also be unfaithful or have some kind of sexual kink that you don’t share.
Try leaving it to the Universe to bring you the right partner. Trying this technique out is fun and will only take a few minutes.
- Just relax in a quiet space for a few minutes.
- Take some deep breaths in and out to quiet and relax your mind.
- Place your order with the Universe. Don’t be too specific. Allow the Universe to bring you your ideal, divine match. You can speak your order out loud or just say it mentally. You can say something like “Universe, I have received my divine counterpart. They have found me in divine timing and I am so very grateful that we are now in a loving, mutually fulfilling in every way, romantic relationship”.
- Visualize and feel what it would be like to be living your life with your ideal partner. The feeling part of it is so important. You can imagine the feeling and images coming from your heart chakra.
Hold those thoughts for a couple of minutes and then let it all go out into the Universe. Put it away and don’t think about it again.
Remember that you can also ask your guides for and angels for their help. They can’t help you unless you give them permission so do so and they’ll be ever so happy to help you as much as they possibly can!
A few years ago, when my last longterm relationship ended, and I found myself single in my early 30’s, I thought I’d be single forever.
My relationships would just fail over and over for various reasons. I eventually heard about narcissism and identified my previous partners being quite narcissistic. I noticed that I would attract narcissists all the time yet I just took it as being a part of life. Even my dates were narcissists!
I realized that it was MY vibration that I needed to shift in order to be in alignment with healthier and more spiritually advanced men and people in general. I wrote about how I changed my vibration — and my life, in this post if this resonates with you and you fancy a peek.