Why am I drawn to someone I barely know

Why Am I Drawn to Someone I Barely Know?

September 26, 2020

Why am I drawn to someone I barely know? I’ve asked myself this exact quite a few times because I have I been exactly where you are now. In fact, I kind of still am. 

It’s weird feeling like you know someone already before you’ve even gotten to know them, isn’t it? This has happened to me with friends, guys, and even strangers before. I either felt like I already knew them; like something was super familiar about them or I just felt inexplicably drawn to their energy. 

MORE: The Meaning Behind 666 for Romance

MORE: The Aries Mars Woman Explained

So, why am I SO drawn to someone I barely know?

two strangers who don't know one other

Perhaps one of the following reasons resonates with you. In truth, there are probably a plethora of alternative possible reasons you find yourself inexplicably interested in someone but perhaps the most common reasons are listed below.

I don’t know what you’re feeling towards this person specifically but I’ll guess from your search that it’s a pretty powerful feeling or mixture of emotions if you’re up late at night Googling for answers about it. Yep! I see you there, behind that keyboard! 

Ok, not really, but you catch my drift. I’m aware that people want to know why they feel unexpected emotions for relative strangers. 

Ok, so I’m going to offer some possible reasons below. You’ll probably be intuitively guided to the most accurate explanation. I’d highly recommend keeping an open mind about this kind of stuff, too. The real answer may be esoteric or plain woo-woo.

For example, when I met my first ever boyfriend, or, well, just after we started chatting for the first time ever (about why he was standing barefoot on the dance floor of the nightclub we were in, no less), I felt so drawn to him, like I had always known him. We ‘clicked’, I guess you could say. So, yeah, I totally understand. 

I personally think we knew each other in a previous incarnation (or 20). This may not be why you feel drawn to whoever you’re feeling drawn to, however! There are a fair few reasons why this could be. 

MORE: Why Am I Drawn to Trees?

MORE: Common Limiting Beliefs Preventing You From Finding Love

MORE: 20 Relationship Red Flags to Be Aware Of

You’ve known them before 

You may or may not agree with reincarnation. That’s fine. But please read on because I would say that this is the most common explanation. 

Some people believe that the Soul never dies and keeps on reincarnating until it has experienced human life on Earth from a massive variety of angles. 

The Soul wishes to have as many experiences and lessons as it possibly can in order to learn and grow. If we kept on reincarnating into the same time period under the same gender and race we wouldn’t learn nearly as much as if we lived lives as people of all kinds of different races, locations and careers even.

You may have lived one life as a beloved mother and wife in Rome in the 1800’s and then your next life may have been as a devoted family man working on Wall Street in New York. The possibilities are endless. 

And whenever we reincarnate, we meet the same people over and over again and we play out a wide (very wide) variety of roles. For example, in another lifetime your current Mother could be you best friend and in another  lifetime, your child — or your boss! 

Again, the possibilities are endless when it comes to reincarnation and the various roles and archetypes we can play out. 

But essentially, my point is that you may have just met someone who you have had a significant connection with in a previous life. Or maybe they made an impression on you then and you’ve carried the memory of that impression over into this lifetime. Perhaps they were a famous movie star or other celebrity and you really admired them. 

In most cases, however, you probably had a significant connection with them of some kind, perhaps as a partner, sibling, cousin, friend, teacher, or work colleague. 

Sometimes we only fleetingly meet someone we’ve known before and we don’t go on to forge a relationship or friendship with them. It’s sad, I know, but our Souls know what’s best for us. 

Our Souls choose what we would like to experience for the most part, prior to coming to Earth and the various lessons we’d like to learn. 

Perhaps you’ll get to know one another better in this lifetime or maybe it won’t develop into anything. Maybe in your next life, you’ll be very close again. 

They may have only briefly popped into your life to get you to wonder why you feel like you’ve known them before and start researching reincarnation! You never know, however, every encounter we have with someone we feel drawn to, happens for a reason and never really by chance. 

There’s something about them that has made an impression

Ok, you may not like the reincarnation thing. That’s OK. I get it and there are definitely many other plausible reasons why you’re finding yourself drawn to someone you hardly know. 

And another one is as stated in the title above — there might be something that has consciously or subconsciously really caught your attention. 

Maybe you’re just really impressed by how they can strike up interesting and engaging conversations with ease or how they seem so very wealthy at such a young age. 

Your subconscious mind might be scrambling to try to figure out how on Earth they achieved it, but your conscious mind is just intrigued by their abundant, high vibe energy. 

Or maybe that’s just— you’re simply intrigued by their energy. It might feel very differently to yours and you find that interesting. It could be rather original or perhaps deep and mysterious and that just draws you in and compels you to want to know more about what makes them tick. 

Most people are similar in energy but every now and again someone comes along who is just totally different and that can trigger all kinds of emotions in us. It might be really refreshing or engaging, or perhaps a bit confusing! 

You subconsciously desire to be like them 

Perhaps there’s something about them that you deeply admire and wish you could have or emulate. It could be their looks, their wealth, their intelligence, their free-wheeling take on life, or their career.

Sometimes, we meet someone for the first time and we think “hmm, they’re really awesome, I’d love to be as chilled as them, or as smart as them” but it ends there and we might not think much of it.

We don’t always know, or very rarely know, what’s going on in our subconscious minds. 

When meeting someone who possesses something like a character trait, we would ideally like to have for ourselves too, this may manifest in our conscious minds as intrigue and we find ourselves simply being drawn to them and we don’t really know why.

Think about what you admire about them in particular. Perhaps make a short mental list and see if there’s something in that list that you wish you had. Maybe it’s the Universe’s way of letting you know that you can have that trait or lifestyle yourself if you put in the work!

You’re attracted to them but don’t consciously know it 

When someone might not be your ‘type’, you might just try to ignore them but still feel intrigued by them, you may not consciously know that you’re physically attracted to them. 

This happens more often than you might think and while it might seem like a totally bizarre and implausible explanation, it’s a real thing. The psychology behind it is complex and especially so if they’re the same gender as you or there’s a big age gap because some people are not comfortable with feelings for groups of people they have never experienced feelings for before and that’s understandable. 

They might feel the same way towards you, however, and it could lead to a wonderful, lasting and mutually fulfilling relationship or a great friendship so perhaps just see how it goes! You might be surprised by how well you get on and enjoy one another’s company. 

They’re just really unique and that’s shocking 

Maybe they’re just really different from everyone else and you find that fascinating. 

I live in a big, bustling city that’s on 24/7. People argue and fight for room on public transport ALL the time. It’s horrible to watch and obviously even worse to be a part of. 

If you saw someone behaving politely and smiling as they were shoved aside by someone before they had a chance of getting onto the train they had been patiently waiting for, they would make a really wonderful impression, wouldn’t they? 

Oftentimes in cities, there’s a slight undercurrent of that dreaded dog eat dog mentality and so whenever I meet someone new who is exceptionally kind and caring, that shocks me quite a bit and it often leaves a lasting  impression. I’d also really, really like to know that person better because we all need kind people in our lives. 

Perhaps the person who you’re drawn to is exceptionally positive in some way such as plain nice, care-free or unbothered and you find that truly refreshing and awesome and that’s simply made an impression on you. If that’s the case, you might find that after some time has passed that you no longer think of them. 

Their energy is healing and pleasant to be around 

The person who you’re drawn to may exude high vibe healing, comforting energy. Some people are just overall super pleasant and have smooth energies. 

People enjoy being in their company because it feels good, chilled out and peaceful. They attract loads of people to them because they’re sources of comfort and relaxation and us humans LOVE that. And where in the world would we be without such wonderful people anyway? 

Good people can also help to teach us how to be better people and how to develop our humanity. We might subconsciously crave such good and supportive people because calm situations and peaceful people are better for our physical and emotional wellbeing, too. 

They would make a good mate 

Ok, I’m not too keen on this as a possible reason but science has gone some way towards proving that we’re typically attracted to people who might make good partners and subsequent offspring. 

And this apparently applies to those who desire to have children and those who absolutely don’t.

I personally find this confusing because it doesn’t explain  being attracted to infertile people or people of the same gender (and that obviously happens all day every day around the planet) but it’s just something to bear in mind. 

So, yeah, another reason may be that you’re essentially, subconsciously sizing them up as someone who you can fertilise or get fertilised by. Sounds seriously romantic, right? 

Meh. Maybe not but perhaps there is some scientific truth to it and that’s fair. 

They may not feel the same way about you

Yep, bear in mind that they might not feel the same way about you. 

I always thought that intense emotions were reciprocated, to some degree, at least. I mean, surely, how can you feel a burning desire or intense curiosity for someone and they don’t even know you exist, or could easily forget? Well, sadly, feelings aren’t always even remotely mutual. 

Trust me. I’m in my mid 30’s now and this is something that I have learned the hard way after pursuing men who I thought felt the same way about me. 

It was heartbreaking to find out months to years down the line after giving them ‘space’ and treading carefully around them, that they had very little to zero interest in me. 

I know men can go through the exact same thing of course, and sure, it sucks. But there it is. Most of us meet the right partner, friends and so on at the right time and if someone is genuinely interested in you, they’ll treat you with care, respect and they’ll show — and retain interest in you. 

I’m sure you knew that already but I just thought it would make a good reminder because we can become a little obsessed with people we feel deeply drawn to and kind of forget about all that.


So, the next time you see the person you’re thinking of and you shake your head and silently wonder “why am I drawn to someone I barely know?”, refer back to this list of possible answers to scroll through. And you never know, maybe you’ll get to know that person far better!

MORE: Hobbies to Help Deal With Stress

MORE: How to Maximize Your Mornings

MORE: 44 Fun Things to Do Alone Indoors

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You cannot copy content of this page